How I feel about going to the state fair tonight!

This has been on my mind lately. In 1 Peter 3:3-4 the Bible says “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”

In spending quiet time alone with God lately, I’m coming to realize that I put too much into how I look and what I wear, even when I’m not anywhere close to the standards set by other girls. I think one of the facets of the depression I’ve been suffering with has been just that, thinking I’m not pretty enough, or skinny enough, even though I’d never admit to thinking that about myself. 

I have been told ever since I was a child that it didn’t matter, that God loves me just as much as He loves everyone else, and I know that that love for us is even greater that we as humans can imagine. Honestly, I’ve told that to so many other people when they’ve asked for my opinion on their own self-image. It’s just that it really is harder to take your own advice than it is to give it. 

I’ve come to the realization that I need to be more focused on my inner self. my thoughts, behavior, attitude, etc. I find fault in myself before I even think about others, and my depression has stemmed from that, amongst other things, and has effected my school, social life, and relationships with family members. I feel like once I reach this inner peace, things will begin to fall into place, but I don’t know how to do that. I can’t make myself forget about the fact that I’m overweight, and don’t have the super model look. I try to make myself focus on the fact that God’s love for me isn’t going to change based on things as superficial as looks, but I look in the mirror or see this girl that makes heads turn, and it brings me right back down.

I want to have the strength to get past that. That is my prayer for this week. That i can focus more on having the gentle kind of spirit that God smiles upon, and being comfortable in my own skin. 

So it’s Easter… “Can You Feel The Love Tonight” just came on my pandora radio station, and all I could think about was how unbelievable Jesus’ love for us is. I mean, the only perfect person on the earth, laid His life down for my sins? I can’t even begin to understand that amount oflove, but I feel it, especially at this time of year. I want to spend the rest of eternity feeling that immenselove. I don’t want it to be a feeling that only lasts for a few weeks at the two major holidays on the Christian calendar. I feel like we should take the time to remind each other of the love that the Lord has for us each and every day. Wouldn’t it make you feel better on those rough days to be reminded that our God, who loved you before you were born, still has that love for you now? I know that I don’t make it a point to remind people that Jesus loves them, but I really do feel like it is something I should start doing, no matter what people are going to say about me. I have been given many opportunities to share the love of my Lord, God, and Savior, but I haven’t taken them up, because I haven’t had the guts. My prayer for this Easter is that I get the guts to, as a friend of mine would say, share the cookies this year. I know I can’t keep all of the cookies to myself. I just hope I have the right words to be able to get these cookies out to the right people.